Tuesday, September 29, 2009

A new song

I just finished this song tonight. I'll try to get a video performance up soon. It's called "America."

I found America, bleeding and dying
In an old dusty well by the side of the road.
Where lawyers and bankers'd tied on old rusty anchors
And left her for dead with their dollars in tow.

I found America, all out of breath
And blue in the face at the end of a rope.
A sign there did read, "Passers-by ye take heed,
The death on this rope once was our great hope.

I found America, witless and wandering,
Matted grey hair and a tattered old coat.
Once the strength of the people, the spire of the steeple,
But twisted by greed her own downfall she wrote.

You can hitchhike for four days from Seattle or Saginaw,
Board you a Greyhound for Tucson or Maine.
By plane or by train, it's all one and the same,
Of America's future only memories remain.

I found America, waving and smiling,
Her hair it was perfect, her smile nearly shone.
I drew back the curtain just to be certain
But her smile was for sale, her words not her own.

I found America, red, white and blue,
Lost in the distance between me and you.
Send your tired and your poor to her great golden door,
But remember, above all, to thine ownself be true.

I found America, hope for tomorrow
In the cycle of life, the cycle of sorrow.
Are the deep and dark eyes of my son and my daughter
The one saving grace of my mother and father?

Monday, September 28, 2009

A Good Question

"Superstar"

Every time I look at you I don't understand
Why you let the things you did get so out of hand
You'd have managed better if you'd had it planned
Now why'd you choose such a backward time and such a strange land?
If you'd come today you could have reached the whole nation
Israel in 4 BC had no mass communication

Don't you get me wrong
Only want to know

Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ
Who are you? What have you sacrificed?
Jesus Christ,Superstar
Do you think you're what they say you are?

Tell me what you think about your friends at the top.
Now who d'you think besides yourself was the pick of the crop?
Buddha was he where it's at? Is he where you are?
Could Mohamed move a mountain, or was that just PR?
Did you mean to die like that? Was that a mistake, or
did you know your messy death would be a record breaker?

Don't you get me wrong
Only want to know

Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ
Who are you? What have you sacrificed?

Jesus Christ, Superstar
Do you think you're what they say you are?

Lyrics by Tim Rice
from Jesus Christ Superstar
Music by Andrew Lloyd Weber


I know there are some fundamental problems with the way Rice poses this question (Jesus, Mohamed and Buddha are not religious analogues) but the spirit of the question has always resonated with me.

Be well.



Friday, September 25, 2009

Learning how to parent on the run

Tonight was interesting. At 5:30 I had a dinner for all of the former Bethel College board members, followed at 7:30 by the annual corporation meeting to handle the business of the college and inevitably to process the termination of our president that took place in August.

And I forgot to get a sitter.

Megan's show opens tonight (probably intermission-ish time as I type) and it's been on the calendar for months, so this was all on me. Maggie had a sleepover, so one kid down. In the process of rushing home on my scooter to figure out what to do with Lennon, my cellphone got soaked in a downpour. Ease of access to information/people? Gone.

I had some options but either didn't have my shit together enough to act or didn't have the will impose on others' plans.

So what did we do?

I took a deep breath and I acted on a thought that occured to me during my interview for the Director of Admissions. I was asked how I would manage the number of hours required for the job. In answering that I already work pretty much 24/7, I described the way my work environment would embrace families, embrace kids, and make work possible for people with families.

Lennon often tells me that he wants to work at Bethel with me when he gets big (a sure-fire melter for this daddy), so tonight I put him in a button-up, pulled a sweater vest over his head, stuck my extra nametag on him and we went to work!

He did great! Perfect? Not by a stretch. Were some people annoyed? I suppose they probably were. But Lennon and I did the dance of negotiation, communicated verbally and nonverbally, laughed quietly while important things were happening, and made it through. I walk away from this experience extremely proud of keeping my cool, breathing deep and keeping communication open with my son instead of allowing myself to lose patience at key moments. I hope we'll be better for it.

The meetings? Anticlimactic. I'll take it.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Isn't it strange...

...to know that every possible human experience is being lived through right now, somewhere?

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

First day back

I sit here watching "A Prairie Home Companion" the movie and I'm not yet overwhelmed by the enormity of the world. I successfully reached the point during our Walnut Valley vacation where I was several times unsure what day it was. Now I come riding full tilt in to my world where what day it is, and the time during that day, is of ultimate importance; an adjustment to be sure.

Today I did all morning meetings trying to figure out who talk to and when and how; I did confrontations with balls I dropped that turned into 8-balls I was behind; I did a little creativity; I did some listening, but more talking; I laughed a little and frowned too much; I did some parenting and far too little husbanding; I have no idea how to talk to my nine year old about school. Her soul is so light, I hate to burden it with the weight of often arbitrary expectations. I do my best but parental failure is in my DNA.

Right now I'm avoiding the laundry and my church responsibilities, pondering my love of ambiguity in a world that requires certainty, pondering my certainties in a world that could use more ambiguity.









































There you have the bipolar Tyner kids and their breakneck penchant for changing moods. Yay. I think Maggie really appreciated me taking photos of her indignation.

Be well.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

That one stings a little

For two weeks, I've been working very hard to position myself to get the job of Director of Admissions for Bethel College, where I already work as a fundraiser. I didn't get it, but I received high compliments from all of the highest of high Bethel royalty, for which I'm thankful and humbled.

I will support the decision and move on, because any other choice would be a failure. I think the thing that stings the most is knowing that I could do this job so well, but knowing that no one wants to take a risk on someone whose experience is not documentable. Most people that I know will resign themselves to this fact and tell me, "Hey, that just makes sense." I, on the other hand, have seen people do what their paper, or their genes, said they couldn't; and so, I do wish deep in my darkest soul that it could have been me.

But I move on; it's what I've always done.