Ash Wednesday

I went to chapel at Bethel yesterday for the second time this year, but the third time ever. It was an Ash Wednesday service, and well-attended. I don't make chapel a regular part of my time here. I'm glad I went to this one.

I just wanted to share a beautiful prayer from the service.

God, we thank you for ashes, the ashes of which we are made and which make us one with your whole creation.
We thank you for the ashes which this day recall to us our frailty, our mortality, our death.
May these same ashes mark our cleansing and renewal so that,
accepting our weakness and trusting your strength,
we may become people of prayer,
people of character,
people of conscience,
knowing our worth,
loving your call,
trusting your promises,
until we again become ashes
and seeds of your new creation. AMEN.

So for Lent, I'm trying to see God in everything.

Cruel World

For the first time I can remember, I truly questioned whether it was fair to my children to subject them to the cruelty of this world.

At dinner, Maggie asked why some of her friends go to a special ELP class (Extended Learning Program, if memory serves; Newton's gifted or accelerated program) but she doesn't. I couldn't even spit out an answer for the lump in my throat. I could see in her eyes that the knowledge of this separation has effected her own confidence; she recognizes that her school thinks her friends are smarter. What breaks my heart is that she will always have the memory of this time she was unfairly judged.

Here's the thing. She's smart. I know she's my daughter and I'm biased, but I know that she's smart. She just doesn't do the things that our schools are built to address. She's right-brained, our system is left-brained. She's empathetic, social, artistic, sensitive, attuned to beauty and emotion. She thrives in any social situation with people of all ages. As a human being, she's a genius. As a calculator, not so much. I'd choose Maggie just the way she is: every time.

But her friends are smart, too, and there's nothing wrong with the way they think. Lucky for them that they fit the prescribed requirements for "smart" in the system we have. But for Maggie's makeup, for her special talents, the schools have next to nothing.

So I told her exactly that. Schools are not built to help her with the things that she excels at. I told her that it's not her fault, that her friends are just smart in a different way, and that the way she thinks is important, too. Thank God for Megan who pursues her passion of theatre and allows Maggie opportunities to shine. I hope my words and Megan's example will help Maggie.

I'm reminded of the Don MacLean song, "Vincent," where he laments of Van Gogh, "...this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you." Indeed, Maggie, you are of greater stuff than this world; your spirit is of God, your compassion is otherworldly. You and the millions of people like you who will struggle to find your place in a world where relationships are second or third or tenth on the list of priorities, must bear in mind that when times are tough, when people need help, it will be your smile and your shoulder to cry on that will make all the difference.

"They would not listen, they're not listening still; perhaps they never will."

Thank you, Maggie, for coming to me.

Some good things about religion

Many religious groups advocate peace.
Many religious groups help the poor and under-served.
Religion gives people a way to understand a confusing world.
Many interpretations of religion advocate brotherhood.
Churches raise money for other worthy causes.
Religion promotes a moral code.
Religion challenges people.

Why?

Lennon is 3 1/2 and has been in his "Why" phase for awhile now. At times it's seemed an interminable phase, but lately it's taken on a different tone for me. Perhaps I've realized before, when Maggie went through the same phase, and had forgotten, but the question "Why?" is not asked as a reflex, nor even as a request for the facts and figures of how things work (although I do often answer it as though "How?" has been asked, instead of "Why?"). It's a challenge to the status quo. I'm convinced that when my children ask me "Why?" they're really asking me, "Why should it be so?" I'd like to adopt that angle as my own.

In a way, it's the same as the Aquinas adage that I've discussed elsewhere on this blog. The important thing about a child's question, though, is that it entertains the endless possibility of imagination and creativity. This is the quintessential "outside the box" thinking--because no box exists for a child. So here's to being childlike in my standards for information. No, that's not true.

I'm talking about religion here. You say the Bible is the literal word of God. Why? Why do you know this to be true? You say that there is no God. Why? You say that there is only one right way. Why?

The goal is to get down to the core. Do you know this because someone else told you this? Do you know this because it feels right?

Here's the truth: nothing about God is known. But we people can't deal with ambiguity. We need the comfort of being assured that we're right; being special because we've got it figured out. From that special position comes our perceived right to judge and damn others, which makes us feel good. We don't understand God, but we feel better if we can create a reality in which others are wrong. We've all missed the boat completely, but we continue to literally and figuratively, directly and indirectly, kill for the sake of showing how right we are. We are all Cain. The punchline is that we're all Abel, too.

A good sign

On Monday night, we tried to log in to Maggie's rarely-used WebKinz account. Once we remembered the elusive password, we received a message that the account had expired, and that we'd need to purchase a new WebKinz in order to continue using it. So, I laid it out to Maggie just like they said. "Mags, they only let you use the site for a year because they want to sell you more toys." Man, was she mad. Not sad, not upset; angry. I gave her a hug and patted her on her little head, giggling to myself.

The next morning, right after she woke up, she gave me a big hug and said, "Dad, I wish I could put up signs telling people not to buy WebKinz because that's not fair to make people buy more stuff."

Nice.

Let the revolution begin.

Failure

Not every moment in life is a success. It is only this knowledge that makes it possible for us to pick ourselves up from the proverbial ground and face the next task. I've had a few run-ins with unsuccessful moments in the past few weeks (good run of bad luck) and it's good to know that better moments are waiting around the corner.

But it's the difficulty, and the general human unwillingness to recognize and address said moments that makes me think the "I screwed up" moment is the finest moment of the Obama administration, yet. Not only has Obama done what Bush was loathe to do (perhaps never did-I'd listen to arguments [not even Clinton took the opportunity when it was obvious]), but I believe it will set the tone for a mea culpa administration. How often do leaders at any level address their mistakes openly and honestly? What if Daschle had begun his confirmation hearings with full disclosure? Might we be preparing to swear in the person who might be our best hope for sweeping health reforms? What if Al Gore had admitted to exaggerating his involvment in fetal internet discussions? I have argued for years that politicians should engage in a policy of full disclosure, coupled with proactive mediation of mistakes and blunders.

Here's to the possiblity of an administration that owns its humanity.

For your pleasure

GEORGE CARLIN ON THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
from "Complaints and Grievances" (HBO special, 2001)

Here is my problem with the ten commandments- why exactly are there 10?

You simply do not need ten. The list of ten commandments was artificially and deliberately inflated to get it up to ten. Here's what happened:

About 5,000 years ago a bunch of religious and political hustlers got together to try to figure out how to control people and keep them in line. They knew people were basically stupid and would believe anything they were told, so they announced that God had given them some commandments, up on a mountain, when no one was around.

Well let me ask you this- when they were making this s**t up, why did they pick 10? Why not 9 or 11? I'll tell you why- because 10 sounds official. Ten sounds important! Ten is the basis for the decimal system, it's a decade, it's a psychologically satisfying number (the top ten, the ten most wanted, the ten best dressed). So having ten commandments was really a marketing decision! It is clearly a bulls**t list. It's a political document artificially inflated to sell better. I will now show you how you can reduce the number of commandments and come up with a list that's a little more workable and logical. I am going to use the Roman Catholic version because those were the ones I was taught as a little boy.

Let's start with the first three:

I AM THE LORD THY GOD THOU SHALT NOT HAVE STRANGE GODS BEFORE ME

THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD THY GOD IN VAIN

THOU SHALT KEEP HOLY THE SABBATH

Right off the bat the first three are pure bulls**t. Sabbath day? Lord's name? strange gods? Spooky language! Designed to scare and control primitive people. In no way does superstitious nonsense like this apply to the lives of intelligent civilized humans in the 21st century. So now we're down to 7. Next:

HONOR THY FATHER AND MOTHER

Obedience, respect for authority. Just another name for controlling people. The truth is that obedience and respect shouldn't be automatic. They should be earned and based on the parent's performance. Some parents deserve respect, but most of them don't, period. You're down to six.

Now in the interest of logic, something religion is very uncomfortable with, we're going to jump around the list a little bit.

THOU SHALT NOT STEAL

THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS

Stealing and lying. Well actually, these two both prohibit the same kind of behavior- dishonesty. So you don't really need two you combine them and call the commandment "thou shalt not be dishonest". And suddenly you're down to 5.

And as long as we're combining I have two others that belong together:

THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY

THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE

Once again, these two prohibit the same type of behavior. In this case it is marital infidelity. The difference is- coveting takes place in the mind. But I don't think you should outlaw fantasizing about someone else's wife because what is a guy gonna think about when he's waxing his carrot? But, marital infidelity is a good idea so we're gonna keep this one and call it "thou shalt not be unfaithful". And suddenly we're down to four.

But when you think about it, honesty and infidelity are really part of the same overall value so, in truth, you could combine the two honesty commandments with the two fidelity commandments and give them simpler language, positive language instead of negative language and call the whole thing "thou shalt always be honest and faithful" and we're down to 3.

THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR"S GOODS

This one is just plain f***in' stupid. Coveting your neighbor's goods is what keeps the economy going! Your neighbor gets a vibrator that plays "o come all ye faithful", and you want one too! Coveting creates jobs, so leave it alone. You throw out coveting and you're down to 2 now- the big honesty and fidelity commandment and the one we haven't talked about yet:

THOU SHALT NOT KILL

Murder.

But when you think about it...religion has never really had a big problem with murder. More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason. All you have to do is look at Northern Ireland, Cashmire, the Inquisition, the Crusades, and the World Trade Center to see how seriously the religious folks take thou shalt not kill. The more devout they are, the more they see murder as being negotiable. It depends on who's doin the killin' and who's gettin' killed. So, with all of this in mind, I give you my revised list of the two commandments:

Thou shalt always be honest and faithful to the provider of thy nookie.

&

Thou shalt try real hard not to kill anyone, unless of course they pray to a different invisible man than you.

Two is all you need; Moses could have carried them down the hill in his f***in' pocket. I wouldn't mind those folks in Alabama posting them on the courthouse wall, as long as they provided one additional commandment:

Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.

The "Calling"

What's a calling? So many people speak of God "calling" them to be or do something. I tend to believe it's more a matter of a particular skill set/personality type matching up with a particular set of circumstances/opportunities. In these situations it's easy to say that a person is living their calling. Paul Coelho's book The Alchemist delivers the mystical message of "following the omens." The way I understand God, "omens" would be a perfectly valid way to describe communications from God. People with harder line views of Christianity would likely reject (I guess, based on my experience) omens as a pagan, mystic explanation of the universe, lacking truth.

Let me explain just a little about my concept of God. If we believe, as I do and as most modern people do, that there is one God, then there must have always been only one God. Whether you name that God Allah (which, incidentally, is the name Arab Christians use for God as well as Muslims), or YHWH, or Zeus, or Thor, or delineate all of the individual qualities by naming and personifying them all (polytheism) we're talking about the same God. If there is indeed only one God, then by recognizing any deism at all, one's only choice is to recognize that one God. Description, naming and understanding are all matters of individual culture and distinctive world views. I would argue that it is not possible to "create" another God that can functionally command a following. Even the ancients needed to see proof of the power in order to be convinced of the need to worship. For instance, the belief in answering prayer must be demonstrable. If there is only one God, then Baal would be incapable of demonstrating the ability to answer prayer. If, then, a prayer is answered, it could only be answered by the one true God, whatever name is used. But, I do not believe that ancient cultures understood this distinction. It is clear from the separation of the 3rd, 4th and 5th commandments. For me, the need to differentiate between putting "other gods" first, making graven images, or worshiping idols demonstrates the fact that mystic satisfaction was gained through any of these actions. If, indeed, there is only one God, then only God could be responsible for said satisfaction. But I digress.

So what then does it mean to be "called" to a mission? I see those around me who have been called or seem to be fulfilling a calling through a career that matches them perfectly, and I grow jealous. I don't see the omens or feel the pull to fulfill a certain niche. I'm told that some people may not realize they've lived their calling until they look back on it. Just the same, I'd really like to feel that I'm making a difference in the world.