What's been on my mind

This is a photo of the craziest play I ever performed in. The man in the middle is Jeremy Clawson, the woman on his right is his wife, Cheyla. As I recall, they met and fell in love during this show. That's how I remember it.



1st Lt. Jeremy Clawson - One of the most enigmatic and striking people I've ever known died recently and my thoughts about his passing have been worthy of a Jackson Pollock painting. I met Jeremy about 12 years ago, as near as I can recall, and can only claim him as a part of my life for no more than 1 year, but I'm tempted to say it was more like 6 months. Jeremy was a person that you do not easily forget. Intense in every way, quick to laughter with wells for eyes, he was instantly likeable. I cannot possibly do justice to the impact that this thunderclap of a human left on me in such a short time.

Ironically, in context of my description of his impact, it's easily been 10 years since I've spoken to Jeremy in person. (As I sit at a coffee shop in Kansas City typing this, the song from his funeral, which I had never heard before that day, I am now hearing for the second time in my life. Weird. [Death Cab for Cutie, "I'll Follow You Into the Dark]) However, both Megan and I know that Jeremy and Cheyla's journey of love contains many powerful parallels with our own. So, as we did our best to explain to Cheyla at Jeremy's funeral, we've always looked to them from afar for assurance that love can be maintained through intensity--that it can be tested and strengthened in the process. So to see the passionate husband and father taken out of that equation is unsettling at the least.

I did, through the power of Facebook, have the opportunity to chat with Jeremy online over the last few years. A couple of those times, he was on deployment in Afghanistan. He was, of course, a soldier; by all accounts, a proud and exemplary, dedicated soldier. He was also a staunch advocate for the human condition, an obvious believer in the value of humanity, the power of the human mind and spirit. As much as that belief does not mesh with military service in my mind, the thought that keeps coming back to me is this: the person who would have been the most fun, most intellegent, and most challenging to engage in that conversation was Jeremy, and I'm sorry I didn't have the chance to do that. It is true that I barely knew him, but I respected, observed, even envied him. The human condition is reduced with his passing.