A thought just occurred to me about my nature: I have always been quick to fall in love. Eager even. Certainly always willing. That disposition provided a lot of drama in all of my relationships. Looking back, it existed in romantic and platonic relationships. The quickness/eagerness/willingness always came with an intense need to know that I was loved back. Most of those relationships, romantic and otherwise, that pop into my head ended poorly. I have zero former "girlfriends" with whom I discourse, and most of my longtime friends can speak to some awkward interaction or another which I can link to a feeling of needing to feel that we were "in love" (thought they may not know/have known that). Certainly Megan can speak to that reality, and she's the one who had the stones to get through it all. She's the one.
There is still some truth to all of that for me. I'm pretty unsure how to be friends with someone without being "besties," and the comfort and ease of friendship is something I'm only just learning to know. But I am learning. This blog has documented missteps, confusion, and even a little drama from me about how to walk, how to think.
All of this is to say...I don't regret my propensity to love. I love you all.
I love.
And that makes me happy.
